Friendship

A couple of weeks ago I came across a video on you tube where the subject of friendship was discussed. The subject struck a few chords with me, the most striking being that both of us had experienced a bereavement relatively recently and were to all sense and purposes trying to make sense of our loss. Losing someone still relatively young and who had an impact on your life does not only come as a big shock but also as a stark reminder that we are not immortal and life as we know it can be extinguished as quickly as it is conceived.



Friendship is very important to me and you get older your friends become your bedrock. As you go through life you are able to distinguish between friendship and acquaintances. Basically real friends are always there for you, you tend to know who they are when a crisis hits you and they are the first people you ring/phone/rap on doors, you trust them implacably. Good friends are extremely hard to come by, in fact, they are like gold-dust so when I encounter a potential friend, i mentally 'hold back' a little waiting for the vibes to signal whether they are just being friendly out of politeness or they genuinely like me. In my experience, its important not to rush friendships but to let them grow and develop at a gentle pace, I think a test of a good friendship is when you can just sit in silence with that other person and not feel uncomfortable.


Best friends and 'Very Good Friends' are rare. They share the same sense of humour as you, they can instantly sense if you are happy or sad and of course they are the great keep of secrets. With Best and Good Friends, you don't have to explain things too much because they already know. My surviving Best Friend (I had Two) lives a million miles from me (well it feels like this at times). We've been through thick and thin. We met when we were 7, both new kids at school with same birthdays. I wished we lived nearer, I don't see her often but I still feel her happiness and pain


I am fortunate that I have male friends as well as female friends. my interests are fairly broad and I find it refreshing to listen to men's views on life and what they've been up to! They can be surprisingly honest and quite profound at times, in some ways they are not that much different from women, its just they don't always understand where we are coming from! Men don't tend to remember birthdays but they have a knack for producing things which they have grown or made when I least expect it and they make me laugh too. There is something rather nice and earthy about my men friends and I always feel nicely chilled when I'm in their company, Generally I tend get on well with female acquaintances in a working environment and having worked in a bank, holiday camp and childcare environments,I am well practised in the art of bitching and gossip. I do know how important female camaraderie can be when there are stats, deadlines, anxious managers and dramas unfolding around one. Interestingly enough, two friendships which have survived previous careers have both been from childcare backgrounds, our connection,love of children and a sense of the ridiculous.


Finally I just want to elaborate a little on Facebook. To be honest I'm not a great fan of Facebook. The main reason I signed up to it was to stay in touch with friends who had moved away and 'chat' with family/close friends. I am quite a private person so I am very careful in what I broadcast. Currently I have 38 friends, probably half of them are friends/relatives the other half acquaintances. My social life has broaden a little since joining as many local events get publicised through this media. Groups can be good too particularly if the administrator is passionate about his/her interests and update regularly. The downside is the amount of tedious twaddle that comes through on mainstream, I now tend to click directly onto friends' pages to see what they are up to rather than negotiate the former as its less stressful. I guess I can understand why people think FB can be narcissistic as times but everyone needs to blow their own trumpet and if you don't like the music, don't listen.